My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
In other news, I just burned my penis
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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