And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
