Everything about him screamed your future.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
