ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I need water and some morals
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
