we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
