The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize