Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize