Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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