can u get pink eye on your cock?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
