I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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