Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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