Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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