Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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