watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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