in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize