Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize