It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's just like the Real World with babies
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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