he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
