some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
