I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Fuck appropriateness.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
