I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
