at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
