I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
