piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
