he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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