Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
