Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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