I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
