no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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