She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
