He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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