I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize