I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
