Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize