Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
