Kiss
Puke
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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