I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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