I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
