No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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