Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
