Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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