Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
