Do you still have your period?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
