let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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