never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
