we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
