5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
