Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
as a side note pls kill me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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