the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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