We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
