It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
