Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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