i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
