I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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