Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
