he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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