He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
