then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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