Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She told me I should be a condom model.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
