I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
