I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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