i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
