I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
