I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
