I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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