Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
