escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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