yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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