If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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