I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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